Being A Best Man: Expectations VS Reality



One of your closest friends has decided to propose to their girlfriends. You are over the moon for them. But no one can quite prepare you for being asked to be the best man. It’s one of those things on the surface feels like a privilege and honour. Underneath you could be trying to remain above water. If you think being the groom is the hard part, then think again. There is a lot expected of a best man, which is why I thought it would be a great time share with you some of those expectations versus reality moments. Hopefully preparing you for the future.


The stag do

One of the main duties of the best man is to organise the stag do. This, in theory, is the last night of freedom before your friend heads into married life. A lot of grooms and friends invited, put a lot of pressure on the stag do. Making it an almost impossible task to get right.


The expectation

The expectation is you organise a great day, evening or weekend. Ideally, these days the trend is to have a stag weekend. It needs to involve activities that will encourage a bit of competition. Perhaps go karting or a day at the races. This is where being prepared and researching free racing tips could earn you huge brownie points. This would then be followed by a big night in a lively city or area, followed by a morning nursing a hangover. It involves fun, laughter and a few too many beers.


The reality

Some people get a little lary with the drinks before the afternoon has even begun. The group disperses and arguments flare up. The night out involves one to many strip bars and the opportunity to take pictures of the groom that will embarrass him on his wedding day.

We all have the best intentions, and in most cases no matter what you do or organise, the groom will have an amazing time.


The speech

The speech is one of the highlights for the best man. It’s your chance to showcase how much your friend means to you. Your thoughts, anecdotes and well wishes for the new married couple.


The expectation

You are expected to deliver a well written speech. One that you had no issues writing and being creative with. It’s full of witty jokes, sweet anecdotes, and not one person is forgotten about when you begin the thank you’s.


The reality

Unfortunately, sometimes what you think is funny and hilarious, will not be shared. So try and make sure you think about this before divulging the groom’s personal secrets. Don’t underestimate how hard it is to write something down. You may know what you want to say in your head, but getting it down on paper will be tough. Finally, the chances are you will forget to thank someone.

While it’s not just the speech and stag weekend that are the most important parts of being a best man. It’s everything inbetween.


The expectation

As a best man, you will keep everyone in check. Making sure the whole day and night goes off without a hitch. There’s the chance of having a dance with the pretty bridesmaids, and you will always be the person that keeps that dancefloor filled.


The reality

While it’s fine to enjoy yourself, try and not overindulge on all the free champagne. Your groom is trusting you to make sure things go well. Above all else, the reality is you are bound to feel the pressure of your role at some point. But remember why you said yes.


I hope this helps you when the time comes for you to be a best man.


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